ALL HAIL SUHAIL

Devotion - Hurts

2012-02-13T00:09:00.003+08:00

When all the love has gone away

And passion stares me in the face.

Could I walk away?

Fat VS Thin

2012-02-06T23:49:00.002+08:00

I'm feeling famished right now. Yes, right now (@2350). The stress level is heigtening way to fast, and it's making me frust up at everything. I can say goodbye to my healthy diet cause I've been stuffing junk food to my mouth since Thursday. And today for dinner, I had nearly two big bars of chocx, mountain size for rice, two packets of oreos with lots and lots of peanut butter. Uh huh, I'm a crazy eater when I'm stress/having PMS.

Right now, it's both. So, yeah.. that explains all.

Anyway, I've been asking people around THIS:
Would you be thin with no boobs or fat with boobs? If fat with boobs, there is no way to lose that fats off. And as for thin, there's no way to gain a lil fats to perk up that boobs. So it's either a) thin with no boobs b) fat with boobs. It's really interesting to hear people's opinion. As for me, I'm still thinking which of the choices I would be comfortable with!(:

Mashed up tribal

2012-02-06T23:45:00.000+08:00

Pissed

2012-02-05T13:57:00.002+08:00

Re-reading my previous post made me realise PMS really make a huge impact over what/how a person is feeling. I'm a very troubled girl when PMS hits. I get frustrated over little things and my patience level goes down the drain each time. I doubt it only happen to me. So, screw us girls/ladies/women to have to endure this annonying cycle every month.

Pardon for my lack of updates for the past 3-4 years.
Going through the stage of growing up, I'm rather occupied finding myself then sharing my life story to the public. With the workload and responsibilities I'm carrying right now, I couldn't find ample time to update this blog as regularly as I did few years back.

But whatever it is, I foresee myself blogging again after attachment.
I really do hope so. Cause I miss blogging and unloading all my thoughts to this space. I can't see any other platform to express myself. Diaries are long gone cause I end up scribbling and tearing the paper off.

As for now, I'm left with three more weeks and I'm free from the hell I had to endure everyday at the workplace. I swear I feel like jumping off the building right now. I guess this is what working life is, or maybe, just the person who is actually fucked up.

Naked and Flawed

2012-02-05T13:45:00.000+08:00

A letter to self

2012-01-18T23:17:00.001+08:00

It scares the hell out of me to see what I'm becoming into.
Maybe, I'm actually this ugly but have been masking myself, faking to be good and decent all this years of living. But maybe, it's just the people around me whom made me this way. Whatever the main cause of my ugly heart now, I'm in need someone to rip my heart out and purify to how it was when I first walk on Earth. Please do because I cannot stand all the ugly things contaminating it. As much as I want to push the blame to others, I'll be living in denial thinking I own a beautiful heart despite it being wrapped with ugly desires. I hate it, and this has dampened my mood every time.

I need to clear my mind, cleanse my soul and purify my heart.
I cannot stand seeing myself being mean. I cannot express how disappointed I am in myself knowing every sentence slipping out of the tongue end up to be an insult to others. I cannot deal with the frustration when I fail, thanks to my competitiveness side in me. For once, I see myself similar to those bitches that have ruined me.

But why am I talking about the past when I’ve forgiven on what’s done?

Dearest Heart, are you in pain?
Dearest Mind, why are wasting my brain juice thinking too much?
Dearest Soul, do something about this.
and dearest self, stop messing with yourself.

Dearest God, I want to be happy.
But I can only cry in my heart and beg instead of praying to you, asking for it. How shameless can I be?

Dearest Satan, what have you done to me?

September 2011

2012-01-09T22:55:00.002+08:00

This is totally outdated. Few months ago. But I'm posting this up cause I have these photos stored as draft in my blogger account. Thus, I shall publish it here. It's ridiculous for me to be blogging about an event happened 3 months ago, but I'll just post a short write up on it.

Lia's 19th Birthday was held at Mandarin Oriental Hotel Singapore. Credits to her mom for putting in all the effort just to surprise her eldest daughter. Sucha lucky girl to have her mom as her mom(? hahah). Don't worry, I'm not comparing hers to mine. Cause I know I'm lucky and thankful that I have a mom like my mom (? hahhaha). And I was pretty honoured to be invited.

Anyway, that girl on the left picture. The one in blue top/dress. That's Eyfa and I swear she's the sweetest and friendliest girl I've ever met. Normally people don't approach me, saying that my arrogant looks make them intimidated and stuffs like that. But she actually approached me, making conversation with me and asking for photos to be taken.

I guess there's still hope for me. I shall brush up on how I portray myself so avoid people negative judgment made by people.

The forever skinny Lia. & the forever tall girl Mei Shan.

December 2011 Haul

2012-01-08T23:39:00.001+08:00

#thingsaboutme
1. I spend alot, and I save alot.
2. I'm a lazy person when it comes to travelling around Singapore. Especially taking public transport.
3. #2 resorts me doing shopping online ALL THE TIME and dropping by town once every 3 months. Yes, that bad.

BUT, last month was December and SALES were almost everywhere.
Fine. Normally I don't really care much about sales cause as said, I'm a lazy person to travel and I hate doing shopping in a crowded space. Normally every December I'll be with Family heading to Town for Robinson Sales, Tangs Sales and those department stores. I hardly do much shopping during December in Town cause I can just find the things I want/need just by going online. And also normally during December I'll be working my arse off for the Mango Sales.

BUTTT, I've grown tired of shopping online. I hate pieces with bad quality for the material and bad sewing done. Therefore, I decided to get out from the shell and start doing real shopping, which is what I was pretty good at few years ago. Regaining my skills on December 2011 was a bad move.

I don't know when the shopping insanity starts.
What I do know is that, I've been going to Town at least 4times a week during that month. I even skipped my weekdays training just to be at Town to shop. I should say, every trip to there was like making a trip to heaven. Bringing back at least a purchase for every trip was a pleasure.

Those are only 1/2 of my purchase. Another 1/2 are still at Sembawang.

I recently got my DKNY watch. But I couldn't get my eyes off the watch when I was at Adidas Original store looking up and down for my AdiOriginal Jersey Jacket. Since they had no more stock, I had that baby instead.

Rings!!
I swear to God I don't know what got into me. With four trips, I burnt a total of $100/+. Honestly, I love rings just that I don't wear them often? Again, a reminder, Im a lazy person. I'm lazy to keep the rings after wearing it, I'm lazy to find for rings to match my outfit, and I'm just plain lazy to have rings on my fingers at time. Most of the time, I'll be wearing the same ol' same ol' rings cause I don't wanna misplace the rest.

But, under the influence of the word SALES board hanging inside the store and having Thinzar as my shopping partner last month, I cannot resist purchasing cause it's fcuking cheappp! Ranging from $6-$9, totally worth every penny. I don't even feel the pinch when purchasing them. So here's to all the ringlovers, please don't waste your money on rings. Just wait for sales! Even topshop has Sales for their rings and it's superrrr pretty and cheap too! But didn't purchase any cause I was busy looking at Topman shopping for Fast instead.

Desigual Bags.
Left: Fast bought recently during his trip to Spain.
Right: Desigual Sales! Sadly, it's only 10% off.

I was supposed to buy my Juicy Couture bag. But when I made my trip to MBS, they had no stock for the colour I wanted. Then I saw Ralph Lauren leather bag and I was pretty fickle minded cause that bag cost a bomb and I'm still a student surviving with only allowance. Still contemplating, I walked around Town and came across the bag on the right of the picture. The right size, the right design and it's 11 times cheaper than the Ralph Lauren's bag.

Lastly, by right, I'm supposed to show the clothes and shoes bought last month. But, come to think of it, I wouldn't want people to already have an image of me wearing the new clothes. It's like I've already worn them, and wearing it again. Something like that. I know it doesn't make sense, but yeaaaa, try figure it out yourself on what I'm trying to say here.

December 2011, pretty much contented with the things I've splurged on. Just need to clear my wardrobe, get rid of old clothes and have new clothes placed nicely inside the wardrobe. ;B

Contradiction

2012-01-07T19:30:00.000+08:00

I've been very mindful/careful of what I'm posting lately.
Just scared that one day I might contradict myself. But I guess.. who the heck cares.
So I shall just share my thoughts without too much caution taken.

11:11

2012-01-06T11:11:00.003+08:00

Wishes should be made at 11:11 am instead of pm (21:11). # just saying

2012 would be a better year

2012-01-05T22:10:00.000+08:00

Initially I wanted to sit, reminisce how last year was and share it here. But somehow, I find it redundant to be ranting on 2011. So anyway, I'll just wrap the 12 months I had to deal with last year into a small short paragraph. Hopefully I don't go overboard and ended up having a longggggg post on 2011.

Truthfully I never like reminiscing the past.
It just hurt to remember things which causes you pain. It made me unappreciative of the opportunity I'm given to wake up everyday because I tend to compare the happiness I felt then to now. It made me stupid for doing things I shouldn't have done and things I regretted. How I wish life would be easy. And how I really wish system restore can be done to human's memory and starting a clean slate every year.

But I can't complain much cause every chances I've take, every mistakes I've made I am who I am now. I may not have the purest heart, but each year, I can be very sure that I've become a better person. Well, I guess that's one of the pros of growing up.

So 2011 been a pretty hectic year.

The effort I had put in to pull my grades up, the struggles I had to go through doing Major Project and dealing with all the hurdles which I never fail to come across each month. It's the year where I feel how to be a teenager back again without needing to work part-time. Yes, I'm thankful to Dad for making the final say, forcing me to quit. I've became stronger and realized that fate is God's hand, and putting all my trust fully, knowing He knows best. Seeing people walking away out from your life, and embracing new ones in. I am grateful to have the privilege to welcome 2012 and I can't wait to live it up, take more chances and enjoy this year. And I hope, whatever inconvenience I have to deal in the future, I'm capable of facing and handling it maturely.

I wasn't really enthusiastic to end my 2011 cause I feel that I haven't live my life fully. Well, I ended up sleeping throughout the night. How pathetic it sounds, fear not, I had an awesome well-spent afternoon with my dearest knight. Heh heh.

We did a few rounds around the town, doing some shopping. Which then, we end up slacking @313 Starbucks and planning what to do for countdown. We did came up with a few options, but being the lazy and tired me, I feel like making my way home to get my rest. And I swear, there's no better feeling than waking up fresh on a new year. ;D

All time favourite old fashioned chocolate doughnut and caramel hot chocolate drink. Oh, that Oakley specs which Fast got himself during his recent trip to Spain. I cannot express how guilty I feel for cracking the side frame of the spectacles. *sigh*

New Year Resolution?
I still have not come out with any. But along the way I would post up the goals and plans I would wish to achieve this 2012. To whoever who is still resolution-less like me, start having one! Live up 2012, and make no regrets!(:

Belated NY

2012-01-02T12:51:00.003+08:00

I'm rushing through this post.
Anyway, here's a shoutout to you people.

Happy Belated New Year!!!
May 2012 be a fulfilling year for yguys. Cheers!;D

I remembered not having any NY resolution for 2011, or did I?
Whatever it is, whatever happened in 2011 stays there. I'm pretty much looking forwards for 2012. As much as I want to have a NY resolution, I can't bring myself to a point whereby I sit and have a long thought of the resolution for this year. But I will definitely have it soon, cause to me, life without any resolutions is life without any aims. This will just make my life unstable having no direction to go.

Hopefully, I'll come up with a few resolution soon.
Insya'Allah.

Fat Cheeks

2012-01-02T12:38:00.001+08:00

Revoir 2011

2012-01-01T00:00:00.002+08:00

Your Pick

2011-12-27T17:19:00.000+08:00

I cannot find a perfect phrase to express how bored I currently am. I'd my sleep and now I'm trying to find something entertaining before I die out of boredom. Sadly, I can't seem to find anything interesting to accompany me throughout the painful hours I have left to endure till 1800. Normally, I would resort to online-shopping but seems like, now, I prefer the thrills I get going in and out of the fitting room/shop compared to viewing and purchasing things online. But of course, I still do online shopping to dig for cheap good quality tops.

Thennn, I decided to bloghop, hoping that it would preoccupy my remaining time in the office. And well, it somehow did? And then NEXT, boringgg! I don't know how to put it in words, but it's sad to see the bloggers I normally follow are getting more mundane each day. Either their blogs are full of advertisements or they somehow lose their touch of wittiness. And it's so frustrating having no interesting blog to read considering the depleting small number of people blogging today.

Damn, how I wish I'm out of here, making my way town to do shopping despite going there almost everyday for the past two weeks. Whatever it is, I shall show off the pretty/cheap items I bought this month soon. Hah, kidding. Also, I'll be giving/selling away some of my clothes here. Do take a look out for it.

Anyway, a friend of mine randomly raises the topic about partying/clubbing and we had debate through text messages on it and still ongoing. Swear I feel like just calling her up and then start arguing with her. Bloody hell, test my patience. Hahaha. Anyway, she was saying it's okay to club/party when you're attached as long as you know your limit. Of course, being me, the girl with principles (lol) totally disagree to that.

True, trust is a key to a successful relationship. But how much can you place your trust, especially when they're in that kind of places with all those scary people occupying every spaces in the club. I'm in no position to preach. Buttt, that kind of places are labelled haram, and it's haram for many reasons. And why allow your partner be there and not protect them from beasts men and women who may just want to take advantage of the innocent to feed their illegitimate lust? Then, when things get out of control, relationship fails. To hell about being young and doing clean fun. If partying is the kind of fun you're looking for, then be single. Clean fun? How clean can it be when you're surrounded with girls in skimpy clothings, guys who prey on girls, alcohol and dirty/dancing going on in the dancefloor? Please, don't go telling me how much you need to be there to enjoy the music. Seriously, that's plain bullshit.

That's where I stand. So if you allow your partner to do so or not, you have rights to make decisions for them. Married or not, you do. Don't argue with me about owning a person after marriage. Reality check, when you're attached, you love that person. When you do, you own the person's heart. And when you own it, you're fully responsible of it. Follow the heart, and bear in mind that prevention is best. Hehe. If you think I'm being shallow-minded, I wouldn't argue more. There's no point for me to start bickering with someone who has hollow values and do not function on principles. Cheers!

Pretty Little Liars

2011-12-22T14:24:00.001+08:00

"I was happier back then. Now I'm in complete mess."

I have chipped nails. Dry messy hair. I dress sloppyly and I'm makeupless most of the time.
I've been in complete mess eversince I started poly, and it's sad to see what I've become. So fragile, so weak and so sensitive. It's hard picking things up when all the barriers you had built serves you no purpose anymore. You're so helpless and no one is capable of helping you, not till you do it yourselves.

"the blood running through your veins is nothing compared to a drop of mine"
Remember that quote? Yes, I'm a very pompous person. From the way I potray myself to the way I feel about myself. I'll get pretty insulted if I am being compared to those girls on the street. And being a competitive person too, you have no idea how crazy I can be. But I've altered my personality too much till I forgotten who I am, how I feel about myself and what I think of myself just to fucking blend in. I've become too friendly, I've opened too much and I'm not the person I was three years ago. And that's sad considering how people been stooping so low just to bring me down.

Humans are judgemental creatures. That, no one could deny.
But it really bothers me when they start assuming. I'm rediscovering myself back, and that's when you'll see the line clearly. I'm sick of giving in, keeping quiet and letting people step all over me. It's been three fucking years, and it's really exhausting.

#1: Personality

Pardon me,
1. I don't scale a person by how rich, pretty or popular they are, just to befriend them. So please, keep calm and don't be swellheaded.
2. I don't need a man to provide me with material stuffs.
3. For whatever mistakes I've done in the past to the people from the past/present, I've done my part by apologizing. So if you don't get any and still think you deserve an apology from me, forget it. You're getting none. If silent treatment is what you giving me and ruining my reputation is your best friend, I'm fine with it.
4. If you're those hi-bye friends, friends or whatever, you still have no rights to make any assumptions of me. In short, please don't make assumptions. I really abhor it.
5. If you gonna play with fire, just remember, with me, you gonna get burned.

I've made myself clear here. I'm through with this shit.
Don't blame me for being me. You treat me like shit, you jollywell be prepared to be treated the same.
Mutual respect, that's the only thing I asking for.

Oh one more thing, I'm a person with a good well behaved demeanor.
You know you've reached the brim when I start using filthy language. So I beg you, please be gracious and courteous.

#2: Image

As said, I haven't been taking care of myself. I don't go for hair treatment once a month eversince poly starts. My nails are either chipped or in un-buffed. I get super annoyed with myself when I have make-up on my face. I've been super sloppy and it really bothers me cause I feel like I'm belittling myself. Which I am currently aware that I am already in a disastrous situation with the the exploding malfunction wardrobe. I'll put a stop and this gotta change before 2012.

1. I need to clear my wardrobe soon.
2. Under the influence of mom, I'm crazy over high-quality/satin blouses. Thus, I'm digging for nice blouses online (which is already in my shopping cart) and in town too.
3. I need to start wearing acceptable amount of make-up and try not get the face naked in public.
4. Eat healthily and exercise regularly.
5. I need to do real shopping pronto. From shoes, bags, blouses, shirts to bottoms. I need to get rid of the ugly bad quality clothings I've been feeding my wardrobe with for the past few years.

#3: Etc

People change. In my case, I'm changing back to who I was.
If the shoe size doesn't fit yours, then nothing can be done. It's not plausible for me to be someone I'm not and had to suck everything in with/without any benefits gained on my side. Cause at end of the day, I'm not myself and I'm not happy. Therefore, if the haughty me is an eye sore to you, then I'm sorry. That's just me and I'm accepting myself. (:

Duplicate

2011-12-04T01:04:00.001+08:00

Forever.

2011-12-03T21:37:00.002+08:00

Sometimes you promise someone forever but it doesn't work out that way.

"All these money can't buy me a time machine, no
Can't replace you with a million rings, no
I should've told you what you meant to me, whoa
'Cause now I pay the price"

Grow hair grow!

2011-12-03T15:42:00.002+08:00

I miss having long hair.
Twirling it with my fingers whenever I have my hands free.
Swimming and feeling the hair being pulled and gliding together with the water.
Fast messing my hair and I'll get frustrated cause it'll make it tangled.

So dearest hair, I'm keeping a good care of you.
I won't be colouring you. Nor will I have you dealing with heat.
Now, please grow healthily. I miss you.

She said

2011-11-27T12:36:00.004+08:00

Okayy. I'm backk!!!!;D
Was having conversation with Mom. So anyway, I'm considering of getting a .com domain for my blog. Still contemplating on it. Maybe I should do that when I'm back blogging like how it was like years back. Sooo anywayyyyyssss, like I've mentioned, I have tonnes of things to blog about.

Let's start with...

1. Me owning an iPad thanks to Mom.
I clearly forgot when I got it, but I believe it was a week ago? I don't know for what purpose I need it, but higher chances was because of Tasha for psycho ing me to own one. I've been considering of selling my iTouch 4 since I haven't been using it for nearly 3 months. But well, I don't think it'll happen cause I have a thing for gadgets.

2. Saving & Spending
I've been spending too much on food and well, clothes as well(food&clothes). I'm a spendthrift and also a saver. I don't feel secure if I don't save and at the same time, I won't feel good if I don't do any retail therapy at least once a month. Despite having a lot of new clothes that have yet to be worn, I'm still sticking with my old basics.

3. Breaking Dawn Part 1

One thing about Twilight saga, you can never turn your back and stop yourself from making your way to the theatre to catch it. Once you catch it, there won't be a second time. Even if there is, you'll end up doing some other stuffs or fall asleep.

Well, I've been waiting for the movie for a very long time and has been controlling my excitement to watch it. But sadly, the movie was a disappointment. I started to feel restless and couldn't stop myself from fidgeting around even before watching 1/4 of the movie. And yes, I couldn't shut my mouth and exchanging comments with my elder sister regarding Kristen Stewart's facial expression during their wedding. Aside the fact that I was awed by the wedding dress and how beautiful she actually look, I still find her acting for that scene annoying.

Not a big fan of Twilight Saga. The only scene I can watch repeatedly would be the first movie whereby Robert Pattinson walked into the cafeteria. *jawdroppinghottt* Other than that, I think once is enough. \m/

Weight Management

2011-11-27T10:22:00.004+08:00

Few reasons why I'm obsessed with dieting and losing weight:

1. I have the fear of putting on too much weight and become fat back again.
2. Numbers on the scale means alot to me. Despite 61kg+ being my healthy weight, I rather stick to being 50kg to feel secure, and slowly lose a few pounds to be 45kg.
3. The lowest weight I've been was 46kg which was few years back and that was the time where I really splurge my money on clothes especially jeans/skinny jeans. Not being able to fit in them have been tormenting which is one of the main reason of me wanting to lose weight.

But I've realised that I'm torturing my body and upsetting it by not feeding it and doing too much cardio just to shed off the weight. I realised that I'm turning into a woman, and it's the time where the body changes almost every part of the body. I've begin to accept the fact that there's no way I can fit into the jeans and just embrace the changes.

Which is why I've stopped dieting and doing too much cardio. Now, I weigh 60kg, gaining 7kg within a month. I've been eating whatever I like, and been doing lesser cardio.

So instead of doing 8km-10km of running five times a week:

1. I run 3km/medium cardio for at least 2 days
2. Spinning class once/twice a week

3. Body combat (muay thai, taekwando, kickboxing) once/twice a week

4. Pilates, gentle flow, yoga once/twice a week
5. Light weight training after cardio

I swear to god, I've never feel this good about my body till now.
Girls should stop wanting to be skinny or lose weight. I think the best thing in life is to love yourself and just stay healthy. Know your body, love your body and be happy with it. Since I've passed the cycle of the urge to stay skinny, now I'm building up my self-confidence and self-esteem.

Sidetrack:
Woke up @10am. Two slices of mom's nutella cheesecake. Now gonna have her Nasi Lemak. Will continue after eating.

iPad2

2011-11-17T15:47:00.005+08:00

EH SIALLAHHHH I WANNA GET IPAD LAHHH SIALLLLL!!!!!!
J wanted me to talk like a minah. So I said the above sentence. And they all laughed saying i sound like an ahlian trying hard to converse in malay. =.=

Wrap Up

2011-11-07T23:03:00.003+08:00

(1) I've passed my bedtime.

(2) Currently blogging and window-onlineshopping.

(3) I've skipped 5 days of training.

(4) I've gained a massive amount of weight thanks to all the junk/unhealthy food I've been consuming for 2weeks and eating late at night.

(5) Still cannot get over the fact that mom just walked off from me TWICE whilst I was about to try Tommy Hilfiger dress and whilst I was browsing through the tops @Raulph Lauren today.

(6) I'm mentally depressed right now. Not looking forward to work tomorrow.
(7) Need to clear my wardrobe soon. But I cannot find anything to let go.

(8) I seriously need a getaway but I need to wait till I end of Feb ;(((

(9) Fast off to Bintan till Wednesday.
(10) Verryyy sleepy right nowww.

Issey Sagawa

2011-11-06T19:33:00.004+08:00

Okay. I think I'm boring yguys with my mundane life I'm currently leading.

I have a lot of overdue(d) interesting things taken place which I haven't share yet. But I guess everything is way too far back and I can't be bothered to recall everything and type it down now. I shall put extra effort to update this blog frequently.

For noww,
Google on Issey Sagawa- "My passion is so great. I want to eat her. If I do she will be mine forever. There is no escape from this desire.". Got to know from my schoolmate during my lunch. Her description made me nearly puke all the food I've consumed. ;/

Selamat Hari Raya Haji

2011-11-06T18:04:00.003+08:00

Forgive me for the extended absence.

My life has been insanely occupied till I have no feasible time to spare to blog. And since today is Hari Raya Haji and no one is allowed to leave the house, I shall do a lil bit of updates here and there. Anyway, recently, I've been bumping into quite a handful of people and the first thing they'd ask is, "What have I been up too?". So by any chances if you're wondering how I've been and what's keeping me busy, I shall dedicate this post to those who're concern.

To those who actually thought I've graduated/dropped out from school, I am neither in any of the category. I'm currently doing my attachment @NCS, doing some government project, office hour. I shall disclose and not make any discussion over the amount I'm paid and the project I'm handling to the public.

Attachment has been a pain. It's funny how long I've always been waiting for the time whereby the school would dismiss me to do my attachment and regretting it now. I've realised I am not ready for working life despite having part-time job before. It's completely two different thing. So recently, I've make up my mind to pursue my studies after graduating.

Apart from my attachment, I've been visiting the gym almost everyday after work. It's surprising that I actually would be bothered to travel from Yio Chu Kang(office)-Tampines(gym) and back to Sembawang(the place I'm currently residing during the weekdays). But whatever it is, I pretty much enjoy my training. Initially I wanted to lose weight but now, I'll just let my body do the changes. I shall eat whatever makes me happy (of course with little unhealthy food diet) and just do some training at least four times a week.

Y'know, I cannot express how grateful I am with life.
To people out there, take a chill pill. Life would be better if you care less.

Cheers!

Fitness First

2011-09-28T15:23:00.002+08:00

Hey, this is just random updates. I couldn't bring myself to blog much lately due to my mundane routine everyday. Waking up late, eat, movie marathon, afternoon nap, training, sleep and the cycle goes on. It has been roughly the same everyday. Nothing much, nothing exciting to be informing to the whole world. But (there's always a but in everything), I cannot deny that I'm actually lovin' my life. Irony huh? Hhaha.

Anyway, a month back, joined Fitness First.
Though I'm pretty reluctant to join at first, I actually decided after considering the fact that the Tampines Gym I've been going for years been infested with people who'll ruin my day unpleasantly at the end of every visits I made. Not to forget, the people who wouldn't stop hogging on the equipment and machines. Thus, I made my decision, and I never regretted making it.

Been having session with my trainer and less to classes. But I'm pretty amazed with the results and the changes I've gotten. To start of with, I'm actually pretty healthy despite thinking I'm fat. Here's the body analyzer before I started Fitness First, click here.

Yes, if any souls who are keen to join, please do. So I can have company to go for classes and not laughing at myself for making a fool in front of others. I swear, it'll be fun!

This boy never fails to make me proud;) ly!

Not even close

2011-09-28T14:06:00.001+08:00

Multi-tasking

2011-09-19T14:41:00.003+08:00

I have a lot of things in mind to blog, but I have no idea where I should start on. Also, with the tonnes of pictures I would love to share, but I doubt I would have time to do any slides show for it anymore. Thus, explains why I decided to use multiply back again to upload them. I even owe friends overdue-ed photos which I am currently uploading them in FB/multiply. Therefore, in future, all photos can be viewed publicly in multiply.

So anyway, I'm currently in holiday mood right now.
Besides going to the gym for training for hours, I don't actually been going out much. I'm not sure why, but seems like I am rather fascinated in planning on my vacation or getaway than wasting my time walking aimlessly in the malls and spending most of my allowance on food. Not to mention, since I'm a lazy person, I rather be on my bed watching movies/Korean dramas, munching on sinful food despite training too hard in the gym for hours.

Since I'm actually occupied with uploading photos here and there, I'll update soon.
I'm not good at multitasking, though I think myself as a multitask-er.

Colour My World

2011-09-16T23:39:00.005+08:00

Last Day of MP

2011-09-14T23:28:00.006+08:00

Hi! I know I've been away lately.
Major Project/Final Year Project isn't the excuse now. I'm just plain lazy to do updates. Which is why I decided to start tweeting. Thus to those who are keen to know what I've been up too, you can just read the tweets I've been tweeting at the side of the site. In short, my tweet account is public, therefore, there's no need to follow me and get your ego altered.

Major Project ended on the 9th September 2011. Freedom from stress, it doesn't start pretty well considering that I've sealed the 10 weeks of torture by screwing up the presentation badly. But, I'm blessed with team member who would always make my day despite them being a pain in the arse at times. After presentation, we made our way to Hei Sushi Buffet @Downtown to have our late lunch. Well yes, we've been looking ahead for this day for agesss.

Unlike me, they don't eat much. They were fulled after a few plates and I was still ordering for more. After eating for an hour, we settled ourselves by playing food dare which I regretted most. I was unlucky enough and had to eat two sushies with the same amount of wasibi (below) each and damnnnn it was an awful experience. I had bad tummyache and I felt nauseous right after the whole dare.

I feel as if I'm being too formal blogging this post. Maybe, I'll just end this post before I start to bore you with my formal-ness. I'll update more soon. Tomorrow? Have faith in me, I will(:

Cat eyes

2011-09-13T23:08:00.002+08:00

Till then

2011-09-04T00:27:00.002+08:00

I'm dead beat right now. Though what I've been shouldering for 10 weeks has lightened by half, it doesn't make much difference considering that I've gotta complete a report which can actually be produced as a novel, in an A4 size printed paper instead by Monday @0730. I couldn't even have a good sleep without having my brain working in the midst of falling asleep.

And yes, about Hari Raya. I didn't feel any enthusiasm in me during the last day of fasting month and during the day of Raya itself. As much as I really wish to stay home to sleep or do my report, parents strongly disapproved and I had to drag myself to do visiting despite not sleeping for two days. I swear, I rather have my sleep than receiving green packets.

But, it'll end soon on Monday. Very soon, after presentation and panel evaluation ends on Thursday, I can relax and feed myself with some entertainment and dismiss myself from worrying over school. For now, I've yet to get my gear working on my report. Therefore, you'll get a glimpse of overdue-d photos soon, very soon.

The Spy

2011-08-29T23:03:00.003+08:00

I've turned into those girls who are crazy over Korean drama. I've been very desperate to catch the last few episodes which hasn't been aired yet. Damnnn!

A quickbite

2011-08-28T00:50:00.003+08:00

Prior Notice: Pictures below taken using my new baby. No editing of contrast, brightness or whatsoever. Also, without any usage of baby's flash light.

What's new?
I just adopted a new baby using my savingss!;D If you're wondering what, you'll know it anytime soon. But for now, i'll just keep to myself and the people who already seen it. Here's a hint. It's not Canon. Done!(:

A quick update before I turn in:
(a) I'm left with 5 days before the submission of major project.
(b) I did some room cleaning which took me one whole afternoon and there's still half of it that needs to be cleared.
(c) I can now fit my 5years+ ago skinny jeans when I weigh 47kg.
(d) I've been having fever for nearly a week with major headache, maybe due to the stress level I'm currently dealing with.
(e) I need to clear my wardrobe and bring in new clothing in. Wardrobe revamp.

The drawer was filled with dried Biore make-up remover tissues, receipts and transactions paper andddddd empty packaging which all have been thrown away. Give it a week and it'll be back to it's normal condition.

I need to do some accessories shopping. Earrings especially. Found only two pair of huge hoop earrings. Need something better than that. Also, chunky bib necklace and bangles pretty please.

Over my league

2011-08-17T22:25:00.006+08:00

I shall not prolong any longer and do some updates here, right now.
Well, I've realised I've turned this site into a photo booth rather than a blog. But I'll try my best to blog frequently. I've been too caught up with major project, but it'll end soon. Submission will be on 2nd Sept, thus you'll see me blogging often.

So niwaessxxzz, it's already halfway through Ramadhan.
You know what really bugs the hell out of me this month? When people start preaching on how people should be respectful but they, failed to do so. Please don't be shallow. Respecting the month of Ramadhan doesn't only mean wearing appropriately and fasting. It's more than that.

Here's some guide for a start:
1. Do your prayers and pray on time
2. Recite & learn the holy Qur'an
3. Study & Learn Islamic Knowledge
4. Do lots of Zakat
5. Make lots of Doa to Allah S.W.T
6. Give to Charity and help the poor
7. No eating and drinking whilst fasting
8. Lower your gaze
9. No arguing or fighting & avoid sins
10. No swearing, lying and backbiting
11. No smoking
12. Don't waste time on useless activities

If you fail to do all above, please, please, I beg you, please don't be too judgemental.

Back to story of my life, I've been breaking fast mostly at home except for two days (below). The amount of food I'm consuming scares me. And I couldn't concentrate much in the lab with all the food aroma filling the lab with all the different types of food that have been brought in each second.

First iftar out with Isk and Hanis on the 8th August.
Despite my reluctancy to go (firstly, I was dead tired. secondly its weekdays!), I agreed to break fast with them at Marina Square Fish Manhattan. Yes, I forbit myself from going out during weekdays except for Friday. But since the following day was National Day and there's no need to squeeze my way in the public transport, I tagged along. Before and after breaking fast, we did some window shopping at the mall. Which then, we went to Geylang (first time this Ramadhan) to purchase my Fish Burger (heaven). We settled down at Ford Road or whatever the place is called and letting the time flies.

As for Friday, I survived 8hours in the lab and made my way to Geylang Teh Tarik to break fast with Tasha, Ipin, Nutx and Fast. Not a big fan of crowds, we ended up spending the time settling down somewhere near the bazaar. Before making my way home, gotten my fish burger at the same place. I swear, they make the nicest fish burger!

For now, I cannot wait for Friday and Saturday!;D

Not even close

2011-08-06T17:28:00.001+08:00

Big Bang Theory

2011-08-05T07:28:00.003+08:00

Almost had it

2011-08-03T23:45:00.003+08:00

Heh heh hehhh. Here I am, with empty promises, againnnn... well.. can't blame me. I've been occupied with major project and consuming food non-stop to satisfy my cravings after breaking fast. I think the aftermath will be seeing me putting on huge sum of fats instead of losing them. We'll see when I decide to hit the gym and check my weight. Apparently, I think the weighing scales in the gym are much reliable then the one I have at home, or those places whereby you pay and weigh yourself.

As for now, I have difficulties finding for nice decent clothings. As much as I want to do some shopping, I cannot give in and have no money for my upcoming travelling expenses. Despite my reluctancy of touching it, I've already spent $300 for my face. I swear I can't stand seeing hideous humongous blue black pimples on my face.

I'll end here. *yawn*

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Ponytail

2011-08-02T01:19:00.003+08:00

I am fully aware of my lack of daily updates and the pending post I'd promised to rant on. I'll do it them by tomorrow morning if time permits. If not, I will definitely be doing so at night. (:

Japanese Pornography

2011-07-30T15:19:00.003+08:00

Apart from stressing over my MP/FYP, I've to deal with the all raging pimples fighting for a place on my face. I'm not sure whether this is my worst breakout ever, but yeahh, I feel rather tormented by the sight of it. I just hope it'll subside anytime soon especially without depending on any oral medication now since it's currently out of stock when mommy wanted to purchase it for me.

Anyway, I've been pretty busy with school doing java programming, javascript-ing html-ing which explains my disappearance this week. So my Friday night(yesterday) was spent by slacking with Julia at Starbucks for Venti sized Soy Strawberries Creme Frappucino, and I swear, it's the nicest drink I ever had so far. Then had my dinner at MacDees (double quater pounder!;DDDD) with Fast and his friends. Which right after, left them and accompanied Tiara to Food Culture @Century Square for her dinner.

Well, I know those are redundant information.
So here's something interesting. Two videos introduced by my team member which cracked me up in the lab. For the egg swap, you gotta sign in to be able to watch it. If you're bothered enough to do so, you're warned over it unappropriate content (which some may find it). If you're wondering what it is, it's just about egg swapping;D

5 years

2011-07-25T00:00:00.005+08:00

"Your love's a permanent distraction, a perfect interaction a feeling so extreme
I lost my appetite to eat, and I barely get to sleep Cause you're even in my dreams
And I thought that I was strong but I knew that all along his was out of my control
So I fell into your hands, and i don't know where we'll land I'm just going with the flow"

F: What do you wish for for our 5th year?
S: Forever. I love you.

Getting something right

2011-07-23T15:06:00.001+08:00

Love, Love, Love

2011-07-23T00:06:00.000+08:00

Love, you're so distracting
Am I overreacting, For feeling this way
And ever, since I met ya, I can't keep my attention
And you are to blame

You and Me together, nothing gets better

2011-07-22T08:53:00.003+08:00

I over analyze a situations because I'm scared of what will happen if I'm not prepared for it. It's a tremendous torturing cycle to be in daily. Choking on my own words in a conversation, and curling myself at the side of the bed, not being able to spot a single glimpse of light in the darkness. Lying through my teeth whenever someone walks in asking what's wrong. Haha, it's really funny thinking I am strong enough to handle a hard punch seconds ago, but break down even before getting it.

The tiredness and deprivation of sleep just snaps out of my body. Making my way to the toilet in the middle of the night, switching on the heater and staying at one spot, under the running shower in front of my reflection. Seeing water vapour building up on the glass mirror, running the water on my face each time tears starts to well up and washing the face with soap hoping it'll get into your eyes, making it turn red not because of the continuous tears running down your cheeks. I'm just clueless how I should react, how I should feel and worst, what I should believe. Instinct just never fails me.

Dear 16 year old me..

2011-07-19T22:24:00.007+08:00

Pardon me if you feel cheated over my assurance of blogging on how brilliantly I'd spent my weekends today. I would sincerely apologize, and I promise that it will be up by Saturday. My energy has been drained by my current activeness doing major project which has used up my day on the weekdays. I promise I will feed you with numerous pictures and information on it;D

As for now, I will just do a short post on Bugis Street.
No, I wouldn't go telling you when it was built and those grandmother stories on how it came about. Basically, everyone knows that it's a hotspot for teenagers to do their thrift shopping. I am not Bugis Street's regular customer, but I actually do my shopping once in a while there (especially when I'm tight on cash). I haven't been there for more than 6months(?), and I am still finding a spare time to do so anytime soon.

So well, why I'm talking about Bugis Street? Well, I am surprised that only handful of people knows the existence of Bugis Street Shopping Vouchers exclusively for students. If you are completely clueless about it, please do thank me right after this ^^ Bugis Street Shopping Vouchers are actually vouchers you can purchase at Singapore Visitor Centre- Cheng Yan Place. What's great about this voucher is that, when purchasing you just have to present your student card to purchase $50 worth of vouchers for only $35. The vouchers are sold only on certain days. But yguys can check it out here.

Permanent Damage

2011-07-18T20:54:00.003+08:00

Hehe. I will be posting up my weekends getaway soon. Perhaps by tomorrow?;D

Fickle

2011-07-15T00:49:00.006+08:00

Major project has been eating up my brain cells, leaving me completely exhausted at the end of the day. Being in the lab for 7hours having only 30minutes break is no joke. I even had to sneak around replying messages and answering calls if there were any. It's been only the second week (8 more weeks to go), and I'm already gasping for air.

I've yet to catch Mean Girls 2 on youtube soon. Wasn't entirely aware that they had released part 2. Well, I'm pretty much caught up with more important stuffs. Thus explains how outdated I am. I couldn't even find time to watch Vampire Diaries Season II.

Beside the whole major project which has been keeping me busy, I've been window online shopping. Browsing through websites, I came across Paul's Boutique Mimi Pink Quilted Patent Trim Tote (below) selling for $90/- ($150- before discount). Mom agrees to pay for me, but I'm still comtemplating on whether to purchase it or not. Should I, or should I not? I'm fickle bout it cause I doubt I'll be using it.

Other than that, I've also been browsing through magazines and tumblr-hopping, looking at hairstyles. I want to dye and curl my hair badly. Again, I couldn't make up my mind. :X God, I'm just very bad at making decision.

Be comfortable in your own skin

2011-07-12T22:30:00.002+08:00

I admit I grew up not being blessed with flawless skin. I have to deal with acne and scars for years. It got worse after my skin treatment and better early this year. I can go out of the house not having a single trace of make up on my face -bareless. Although I still have fading scars, I am completely okay getting them seen by others. But recently, I had a bad break out that looking at the reflection in mirror dampen my self-esteem. I had to go through the routine of wearing foundation to cover up the pimples, and on some days I even wore concealer (i never like wearing concealer) on the pimples. It was that bad, and still bad though it's getting better now.

But Fast kept on reminding me that I'm still in my puberty stage and it'll stop sooner or later. Though it isn't much help now, it does makes sense. As for Mom, she kept on emphasizing on being thankful that it's just acne. Yes, it's just acne and it'll cure. Even if it doesn't, there are other ways to get my skin better. I am lucky that I don't have to deal the other skin diseases other than acne. There are some who can't even conceal their acne that wearing makeup makes it more obvious.

One of the reasons why I stay away from thick makeup is that, the feeling of seeing your face changes when your makeup is being removed. It really upsetting that reality has to hit you really hard. I am easily awed by girls having flawless and poreless skin (either the amount of makeup they're putting on or it's natural, I still do). I once got scolded by Dad for putting too much foundation to cover up my acne a year ago (hahha). Parents have this thing over their kids putting too much makeup. I don't understand why. But, they gotta understand the pressure their kids have to deal with. Not a pleasant one.

Bottom line is,
Acne will cure sooner or later. So I just gotta be patience for it to be cleared.
Thick makeup or light makeup or even bareless, it's entirely up to each individual. As long as you're comfortable with the weight of makeup you're putting on, as long as it makes you feel better, it should be alright(: For now, I'll stick to wearing sufficient makeup to cover the acne. Hehe.

Video below: 1 year of makeup supply.

Cheap Thrills

2011-07-11T20:33:00.008+08:00

I am currently struggling with my major project. It really tires me out, physically, emotionally and mentally. Staying in the lab for hours for five consecutive days, it's making me feel as if a vein in my brain might popped or a seizure may happened any moment. Having so many things going on in my head, it feels as if I'm carrying a 20pounds ball which may crack my neck. No, I'm not exaggerating. Instead, I think I've understatedly expressed my position. I should put a stop to the endless whining about school.

Anyway, on Sunday met up with Fast. Initially, I wanted to do some thrift shopping at Bugis. Sadly, my mood and laziness overlaps my strong urge of finding for cheap clothings. We had lunch, purchased some clothes at Mango and manage to a nice timing to catch Transformers: Dark of the Moon @Century. Right after, we went to Prettyfit to purchase a pair of sandals but they do not carry the design I wanted. Which then, made my way to Charles & Keith, hoping that I could bring back home a pair of new sandals. But no, they disappoint me by not having my size and the colour I wanted. My mood was dampened within a second. Brushed off the idea of doing more shopping and made our way to White Sands since Fast wanted to get his head nicely shaved by his favourite barber. I don't understand what's the difference if he were to get his head shaved at a different shop, but I didn't bother to ask him, cause clearly, we would start bickering and I'll get super annoyed at the end of the conversation.

Whilst he had his head shaved, made my way to NTUC and purchased sushi(es) and salmon fillet. My fifth time this week (4th July-10th July) purchasing salmon and third time for making a trip to any sushi shop to satisfy my endless craving for sashimi and sushi(es).

A week ago I ordered a baseball jacket, a top and a nubra overseas. Gotten them a few days after. I've been finding a baseball jacket for months, but no design actually caught my attention except for one of Topshop's baseball jacket design costing $99 which was already out of stock by the time I wanted to purchase it. And the baseball jacket below, I've waited more than half a year to get them restocked. Luckily, the size fits me and they sent me the right colour. Costing half the price of Topshop's baseball jacket I wanted, it was a great steal. ^^

Top costing me less than $7;D. Ordered a white one, but received the grey instead.

I already have another post on standby. Will get it published tomorrow(:

Cold as ice

2011-07-11T00:55:00.001+08:00

Town with Sari

2011-07-10T01:35:00.003+08:00

Being busy during the weekdays due to Major Project, friday nights and weekends are the only time I can dedicate the time for myself and others. I, like any teenagers, would not want to spend my Saturday pigging in the living room (which I normally do during Sunday). Thus, I decided to go to Town to do some shopping theraphy, bringing my pair of comfiest shoes for a walk for the second time.

Normally, I would have a shopping list stored in my head. But I went to do my shopping theraphy not having a single clue what I'm actually finding for. At the end of the day after walking in and out of different shops, I ended up with a pair of black platform sandals I've wanted two months back whilst doing my major shopping with mommy and sisters.

Anyway, I blowdried my hair for the first time. Despite it looking good for less than an hour, my head feels much more lighter and the bunch of hair seems to be smoother. Hehe.

I am..

2011-07-09T01:39:00.002+08:00

Have you ever wonder whether you are worshipping the right God and you are embracing the right religion? Honestly, I ever had this doubt when I was in primary school. Each time after religious class, I'll have a lot of dying question wondering in my head, trying to figure everything I'd learnt in class and digesting and trying very hard to believe it. As much as I want to believe that Allah is the only god and Islam is the right teaching, there's always something inside of me trying to retaliate. I do not think it's a sin to think or feel that way. Afterall, you ought to understand and know what you're embracing and believing.

Yes, I believe Allah is the only God and Muhammad is his prophet.
Growing up, I've been craved to be a good muslimah. Years of teachings in the mosque and being born in a religious family, I should by any rights be one. But I am flawed. I've tainted myself with endless sin acts despite calling myself a muslim. I have people coming up to me, asking what religion I am and saying Islam seems to be the hardest word to come out with. No, I am not embarrassed being one. I am proud of being one. But the thing is, I am ashamed to declare myself as one, with the way I dress and how I am leading my life. It's not okay to say you are one when you don't practice it's teaching and don't act like one.

Here's something to feed your faith;D
I've been wanting to share this here, but I kept on procrastinating.

Nikki Vujicic

2011-07-08T00:03:00.004+08:00

This never fails to bring tears to my eyes. I have been repeatedly playing it every night, motivating and reminding myself on how grateful I should be. I am trying very hard to cultivate myself to be thankful and not mourn over the things I am lacking of. Afterall, we are created by God, and he knows what's best for his slaves.

F5

2011-07-07T22:40:00.001+08:00

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